Most business signs are invisible and utterly useless. They’re well-proportioned, carefully balanced, tastefully drawn and perfectly color-coordinated. In other words, utterly predictable and effectively invisible.

The five most common mistakes made in business-sign design are:

1. Attempting to be understated or elegant.
2. Attempting to “fit,” or blend into, the surrounding environment.
3. Underspending.
4. Including too much information.
5. Placing the sign too high. (The eyes of drivers tend to stay focused at windshield height. Low signs are better in town. Tall signs are better on freeways where they’ll be read–at windshield height–from great distances.)

Great signs are always the most interesting piece of scenery in their vicinity. This is why they’re noticed even when people aren’t looking for them.

Would you like to have such a sign? Believe it or not, it’s possible–not cheap or easy, but possible.

Consider the sprawling white letters stretched across a hillside in Southern California: HOLLYWOOD, a landmark known around the world. Did you know that sign was originally erected by a real-estate developer to identify his remote suburban subdivision, Hollywoodland?

Not all business signs will become famous landmarks, but it doesn’t hurt to keep these common denominators of business signs that do become landmarks in mind:

• They’re dramatic. This can be due to the fact that they’re:
  • Grossly oversized
  • Strangely placed
  • 3-dimensional
• They’re different. They contrast sharply with their surroundings due to:
  • Color. For example, snow-white Hollywood letters against a hillside of dark brown and green.
  • Installation. The famous Hollywood sign isn’t on a pole or a board. Its individual letters sit directly on the ground.
  • Context. There’s nothing immediately around it to distract from it. Or if there is something important nearby, it’s incorporated into the sign itself.
• There’s something “wrong” with it. Ever notice how the Hollywood letters aren’t level, but rise and fall with the terrain? This makes it far more memorable.

I doubt if the builder of the Hollywood sign did these brilliant things intentionally. But they worked, even if some of them were accidental. Do you have the courage and determination to repeat on purpose the things he did right by accident? If you do, the public will soon be using your sign as a reference point when giving directions.

Not all ads are created equal. Just because a certain pitch worked for one business, doesn’t mean it’ll work for yours. How to choose?

The key to choosing a good advertisement begins with deciding what you want your ad to highlight. Are you trying to sell a specific product or are you trying to sell your business as a whole through your brand image? To answer that, you need to understand what the four main types of advertisements are:

1. Category-specific ads are written broadly enough to fit every advertiser in a category. A transparent fabric of smoothly woven cliches, a category-specific ad is a generalized template into which one merely inserts a store name and address. All you have to do is fill in the blanks. Ads that fit everyone don’t work very well for anyone. These were once called institutional ads. Don’t use them.
2. Franchise ads build the master brand.
   The hope of every franchisee is that the ads provided by the franchisor will generate enough brand attraction to pull customers into their store. Due to the fact that a franchisor can afford to create a higher quality of ad campaign than the typical local merchant, this strategy often succeeds.
3. Product-specific ads benefit every retailer who sells the product, but they aren’t really about the retailer at all; they’re only about the product. Product-specific ads almost always make good advertisements. The only problem small business owners run into is when they’re selling another manufacturer’s product and are offered co-op advertising.
4. Store-specific ads are the foundation of local branding, but to write them requires intimate, detailed research on the part of an expert ad writer. Rarely will a good, store-specific ad fit another advertiser in the same category. Store-specific ads are also guaranteed to make good advertising and I highly recommend them.

Now that you understand the four main types of ads, you need to choose the one that’ll work for you–not the one that worked for ABC Company down the road. The story you’re about to read is a a true tale.

You’ll see why the type of ad you choose can totally change the way your customers perceive you–and also why the same ad probably won’t work for someone else. The name of the store, the town and the vegetable have been changed to protect the innocent:

Heisenberg’s Jewelers had been in the same building on Main Street in Cabbage Valley for 105 years. A facelift seven years earlier had given the store white carpet, walnut paneling and a huge chandelier in a high, domed ceiling.

Heisenberg’s was the Sistine Chapel of jewelry stores. Not a problem, except that Cabbage Valley is a little farming community of about 45,000 people. Even the wealthiest of Cabbage Valley’s farmers felt they weren’t dressed well enough to enter that store. Heisenberg’s was truly an intimidating place.

“You need to understand who our customer is,” said the owner. She’s a 40 year-old female. Upscale. Very upscale. Well-dressed. Always buys the best. That’s our customer. That’s who you need to target.”

This was in mid-October. They were trying to get help saving their Christmas sales season, because if they had another season as bad as the previous six, they were going to have to close their doors in January.

“Let’s get something straight. There’s no handle that can be cranked that will spit out 40 year-old rich women. You’ll need ads that appeal to men or you’re going to have to find another way to make a living.”

This is the radio ad that saved Heisenberg’s:

“Ladies, many of you will be fortunate enough this Christmas to find a small, but beautifully wrapped package under your tree bearing a simple gold seal that says ‘Heisenberg’s.’ Now you and I both know there’s jewelry in the box. But the thing you need to know is this: The man who put it there for you is trying desperately to tell you that you are more precious than diamonds, more valuable than gold, and very, very special.

You see, he could have gone to a department store and bought department store jewelry, or picked up something at the mall like all the other husbands. But the men who come to Heisenberg’s aren’t trying to get off cheap or easy. Men who come to Heisenberg’s believe their wives deserve the best. And whether they spend $99 or $9,900, the message is the same: Men who come to Heisenberg’s are still very much in love. We just thought you should know.”

That radio ad was delivered slowly and thoughtfully with style and grace. No hurry. No street address. No store hours. No phone number. We simply told listeners what they already knew about Heisenberg’s, but made them feel differently about it. What we said in essence was, “If your husband voluntarily came to this scarily expensive store, he must really be in love with you.” It worked like magic.

Throughout the month of December, men wedged themselves into Heisenberg’s, waved stacks of cash at the register and shouted, “I don’t care what you put in the box, but make sure it’s got that damn gold sticker.” Heisenberg’s made a blistering fortune that year and reversed their downward trend.

Like every great store-specific ad, the Heisenberg’s gold seal campaign would never have worked if Heisenberg’s hadn’t already had the reputation of being extremely intimidating and expensive. That same ad could just as easily have been delivered by newspaper, direct mail or television and it would have worked just as well. It was the message, not the media, that delivered the miracle.

So in summary, remember the four main types of ads:

• Category-specific “institutional” ads are a waste of money
• Franchise ads are for team players who want to help build a strong collective brand
• Product-specific ads are for special promotions
• Store-specific ads are for local branding

What kind of ads are you running?

Which advertising plan is best: $2,000 in direct postcards reaching roughly 3,500 people, or $2,000 in a newspaper ad reaching 750,000 readers?

The answer is a simple one: It depends entirely on what you say in your ad. If your impact quotient is high enough, your best bet will be the newspaper. If the direct postcards are delivered precisely to “the perfect target” (which is not very likely), then the direct-mail route is preferable.

My guess is that neither the direct postcards nor the newspaper will work for you. My advice is that you keep your $2,000 in your pocket until you come up with an actual plan. These are the hard questions you need to answer:

1. What do you have to say that matters to your customer? I’m your prospective customer. I know you want my business, but why should I care? What’s in it for me? Most ads are written under the assumption that the reader, listener or viewer has a basic level of interest and is paying close attention to the ad. But customers tend to ignore all ads that do not speak directly to them.
2. Can you say it persuasively? Most ads are ineffective because the writer was trying to say too much, include too much and be too much. Fearful of leaving someone out, these writers write vague, all-encompassing ads that speak specifically to no one. “We Fix Cars” is a terrible headline for an ad.
3. Are you speaking to a felt need? Let’s say the “We Fix Cars” auto mechanic has a great deal of affection for older BMW 2002s. He knows that 2002 owners love their cars like few drivers on the road and that the only weakness of the 2002 is its evil Solex carburetor. Every 2002 owner knows this, too.
4. How long is your time horizon? Some ads build traffic, some build relationships and others build your reputation. If you don’t have the financial resources to launch a true branding campaign focused on building relationships and reputation among potential customers, you’re going to have to settle for traffic-building ads until you can afford to begin developing your brand. To what degree do you have financial staying power?
5. What is the urgency of your message? If you need an ad to produce immediate results, your offer must have a time limit. This technique will simultaneously work for and against you. On one hand, customers tend to delay what can be delayed, so limited-time offers generate traffic more quickly since the threat of “losing the opportunity” is real.
6. What is the impact quotient of your ad? How good your ad must be depends on the quality of your competitors’ ads. A .22-caliber pistol is a weapon against an opponent with a peashooter. But aim that pathetic pistol at an opponent holding a machine gun, and you can kiss your silly butt goodbye. How powerful is the message of the opposition? If your competitor carries a machine gun, don’t go where he goes. In other words, don’t use the media he uses.
7. How long is the purchase cycle? How long it will take your advertising to pay off is tied to the purchase cycle of your product. Ads for restaurants work more quickly than ads for sewing machines, because a larger percentage of people are looking for a good meal today than are looking for a machine that will let them make their own clothes.

Not hiring a professional ad writer is often far more expensive than hiring one. If you’d like to read more about this stuff, most libraries and bookstores are full of books on advertising.

All types of advertising will work if they’re used properly — not just “tried.” The fact that the various forms of media utilize each other illustrates that no one kind of advertising is superior.

Radio stations promote themselves on television and bus cards, TV stations list their programs in the newspaper, and newspapers use outdoor billboards to increase circulation. You’ve probably also noticed the large number of ads by dot.com companies in these traditional forms of media.

If you’re going to use advertising correctly, you must meet these four requirements:

1. Demographics. You must know what segments of the population comprise your customer base and be able to define them according to the standard age and gender groups used by the media to define their audiences.
   • Gender: Male, female or adults (includes a balance of male and female).
   • Age range: Depending on your business, you may choose more than one of these: 12-24, 18-34, 18-49, 25-54, or 50+

   Your customer base can shift with the opening and closing of other local businesses, universities, military bases, the influx or departure of university students, or just the natural aging of people in your community, and you need to keep track of these changes. This step is critical because it’s the basis of every advertising decision you make.

   If you’re not absolutely sure who your customers are, you can waste money advertising in the wrong places. Once you’ve identified your customers, you have to know where they hang out. Your reps can provide specific demographics regarding their audiences.

2. Location. Use only radio stations, TV programs or publications that can deliver your message to the right demographic groups. Ask your media reps to define the primary audiences they reach, and spend money only with those that match the demographic groups you’ve identified as your customers. Never buy advertising according to your own personal taste or because you like a particular rep!
3. Message. You have precious few seconds to tell your story, so squeeze the language. You wouldn’t say “Send assistance as soon as possible” when you could yell “Help!” You also need a hook–a reason for someone to come to your location instead of a competitor’s. Ask your media reps for copywriting help. Many stations and publications employ copywriters, but a creative media rep can do a great job. Your newspaper, magazine, and direct-mail reps will also be happy to lay out your entire ad.
4. Frequency. Without enough frequency your customers won’t see or hear your message. Radio, television and print are three distinct critters and require detailed explanations regarding schedule placement. It’s better to place a substantial schedule on one station or in one publication than to spread a small budget out and not achieve effective frequency anywhere.

Whatever you decide to do, don’t just try advertising. Use it to get results.